today, i did something that i have never done before in my life.

as most Singaporeans would know, our transport system was deemed by the governing bodies as world class. but what they did not talk about was how our social etiquette and grace is so low class, buay pass or whatever you want to call it.

while there has been 1) the recent give-up-your-seat-for-the-needy campaign (with Phua Chu Kang leading with his "sleeping? don't pretend la!" poster) and 2) the earmarking of certain seats as "priority seats" for the CHAP - i.e. the Children, the Handicapped, the Aged and the Pregnant (okay, i came up with this in line with the government's obsession with acronyms), i think these measures have failed miserably.

this morning while i was on the way to work, i saw an elderly man with greying hair and hunching back board the train. he had two huge bags with him - one of which was an ordinary looking document bag, while the other was a ntuc recyclable shopping bag stuffed with newspapers, umbrella and other belongings. having board the train last, he stood near the entrance, in front of the first seat of the row.

when the train started moving, he held on to the railing at the side and took out his newspapers to read. as all of us know, our trains are not always that smooth sailing. there are often small jerks and slight bumps along the way. so this poor man, started to struggle in order to maintain his balance.

so one stop later, i could not bear the brutality of the sight, and i walked over. i glared at the two person sitting in front of the elderly man, and picked the person who looked more well-educated. i asked, "sorry ma'am, would you mind if you could give up your seat for this man". and having heard the request, she promptly stood up and vacated her seat. the elderly man hesitated to sit down, probably feeling embarrassed or undignified. however, i pointed out that he was struggling on the train. after all, i did catch him glancing at the priority seat several times ever since he boarded the train, which i interpretted as his hope that somebody would be gracious enough.

so, eventually, the elderly man claimed his rights to a seat, and i moved away after thanking the kind lady. when i turned away, i heard her pointing out to the man who was sitting at the priority seat, that he should be the one giving up instead. although she said it in an educational manner, rather than a reprimanding tone (and she probably said it because she was trying to defend herself/hide her embarrassment, which i have unrightfully brought upon her), i was surprised that people actually have that kind of mentality.

when the government decided to label certain seats as priority seats, i didn't think it meant that only priority seats can be given up to the needy. neither should our graciousness be limited to where we are sitting or standing. if the lady's misconception is representative of most Singaporeans, then perhaps ALL seats should be labelled as priority seats.

but then again, i think we, as frequent commuters of public transport (as opposed to policy makers who drive their own cars), would know better that the above suggestion would fall through too. because then, everybody would just wait for somebody to do something as nobody wants to be short-changed.

the main problem is that, we just do not have sufficient social grace. i don't know if its the fault of our government, our teachers, our parents or ourselves.

i am guilty of that too. sometimes after a tiring day of work, it is tempting to pretend that i am sleeping rather than to give up my hard-earned seat to somebody who might not appreciate it. in fact, i have had experiences when i was scolded by the person i offered the seat to, because they felt insulted. but that should not and does not deter me from trying.

as i walked away this morning, i felt an irrevocable sense of guilt and shame. and what's worse, was that i did not understand why i felt so guilty and embarrassed about telling somebody off even though i knew that i had done the right thing. was i guilty because i have embarrassed the lady? because i was unsure if i did the right thing? or that i have failed to adhere to the motto of the society - which was to "mind my own business".

these were questions that i could not answer, and frustrations that i could not bear. it made me feel like all the hao gong ming lessons that i used to have in primary school were nothing but fairy tales about an utopian society.

but still, if you are reading this, i hope that you would slowly inch towards being more gracious towards others too. like how giving up of seats should not be limited to priority seats, social grace should not be limited be surrending your seats for the needy, but also to treat people with care, respect and dignity.

here are my top three picks from the graduation ceremony:






taken by my brother, and edited by yours truly. (:

today had been a really long day, running between several places.

witnessed my brother's commencement this afternoon, and although i was bored by most of the speeches (especially those by the vips, because most of them seemed to be giving a guest lecture rather than a graduation or congratulatory oration), i was nonetheless touched by a few that were delivered by their own graduands. they were much more inspiring and engaging, giving the crowd a better grasp of their journey by offering snippets of their college life. as i watched my brother march up the stage to receive his award, i understood what he meant by a huge sense of pride when he attended my commencement earlier this week. while these ceremonies commemorated the end of our education, i am glad to know that both of us have excelled in our own ways, and prouder that he remains the faster runner whom i would always strive to catch up with.

some call it sibling rivalry, but i see it as a healthy kind of competition, that propels me to work harder.

my only regret for the afternoon was having to leave my family abruptly in order to rush for my next appointment, and missing the opportunity to catch up with many of the familiar faces that i spotted among the crowd. many of them were my previous classmates from my secondary school or junior college days, whom i have not seen since we parted for our separate ways.

but i guess when you pit yourself against murphy's law, the latter always win. however, i remember the valedictorian of the day reiterating - "be thankful, that we are rich" - rich not in monetary terms, but rich in our experiences, and rich in our relationships. therefore i reminded myself that i must be thankful for every good thing that has happened today.

the rest of the day was followed by a friend's proposal, whom many of us had the privilege to hide behind the walls and watch the entire process. he went on his knees, and asked for his girlfriend's hand. she hesitated, he persevered, she nodded, he slipped the tiff & co ring on her finger, and finally they held each other tightly as they embrace the beginning of their lives together. we erupted in euphoria, and made our appearance to extend our heartfelt congratulations.

it is not just the marriage of two individuals, but the convergence of two souls, two hearts, and two families. i think it is such a blessing to be able to find a kindred spirit whom you can spend the rest of your life with. and because of that, i think they are really the richest among the rest of us.

hungry and tired, i made my way to my last appointment of the day - a barbeque with some of my closest friends from university. in the two hours, we managed to catch up, reminisce about the past, and even gossip about some of our mutual acquaintances. to sum it up, it was a good time spent with good food and good company. and because of them, i am thankful, for their cooking fills my stomach, their laughter fills my heart, and their friendship fills my life.

so, i have given my thanks for the day, have you?

do weekends come so slowly and go so swiftly? ):

on a lazy saturday, i boarded a random bus and plopped myself on the first seat i saw. my head was feeling heavy so i leaned back and rested my head against a ledge. as i looked out, the clouds were dense and bountiful, their white bodies boldly defined against a light columbia blue. they hung placidly in the sky, as if they were catching a quick siesta while basking in the warmth of the afternoon heat. as the bus moved through an unfamiliar landscape, i was thankful for the air-condition and lightly tinted window, which saved me from the blazing heat and the scorching rays outside. soon, as my mind calmed down, my eyelids began to sink and i fell into a deep slumber.

i live for moments like this.

so i've got a respectable pay, amiable colleagues, a convenient location, a short commuting time, a wise mentor who has streamlined many operations and set the path, and the privilege to travel between centres so i won't have to be stuck at the same office, a pleasant neighbourhood with coffeeshops, supermart and confectionery, a good window view where i can look out whenever my eyes are strained, an energetic director who values staff training and development, and even lunch is provided at the centre so i can always eat in during rainy days.

with so much in my hands, what more can i ask for?

my workplace turned out to be exactly what i imagined it to be.

there seems to be no end to this hell -

with all the cough, sinus, and bleeding. the bubble in my mouth is so stubborn and resilient that it resurrected within 12 hours since the dentist's jab exterminated it.

i'm sorry if my posts revolve only around my tooth extractions,

cos my life had gravitated around it for the past one week . i cancelled most of my non-essential appointments, stayed at home and survived on a measly liquid food diet (most of which were instant/processed food :X ) so basically, i wasted my LAST week of bumhood at home, gallivanting on facebook and youtube to compensate for my lack of a social activities. not to mention that i was struck with a running nose and dry cough, hence the small amount of time outside the house was spent trying to minimise coughing or blowing my nose so that people would not shun me like a plague - reminiscent of the sars period.

i'm pushing my dental appointment forward to tomorrow out of fear that my wound has been infected. i really hope it's just my hypochondria acting out. otherwise, there will be no end to my wisdom tooth woes... and these ramblings.

right now, i am in terrible need of things to keep my mind off the pain in the right side of my mouth. (yes, i did summon the courage in the end - and fought a fever and flu just so that i can keep to my plans.)

the wisdom tooth surgical extraction (my second extraction in five days) is just like what everyone's been saying, extremely excruciating to the bone. but fortunately, its still not the worst pain i've been through (my 2nd degree burns back in my jc days was by far the worst as far as i can remember). but stilllllll, it has to be one of the most frightening procedures i've been through in my sheltered life. imagine having incisions in your gum proceeding the drilling of the tooth - all mentioned briefly by the dentist in a matter-of-fact tone as if it was a delightful recipe to be easily accomplished! also, i am displeased to announce that i have the first stitches ever - three of them! i almost passed out from the sight of them when i shone a touchlight into my stiffen mouth to peek at them.

this is absolutely a nightmare! i need to start getting used to the ache so that i can have a peaceful rest tonight. grrrrrrrrrrr.

after putting it off for four years, i finally decided to remove my four annoying molars.

since young, i was never really afraid of going to the dentist. i don't remember crying when the school dentist extracted my baby teeth, and i have no issues with the usual scaling and cleaning. but today, the fear hit home.

i was lucky that my left molars were not impacted, so a simple extraction did the job. and i chose to do that first to test my threshold of dental pain. even though the extraction was not painful (except for the injection of the local anesthesia which lasted for around two minutes) the procedure was extremely horrifying. the sound of the tooth twisting in my gums, and the eventual pull that the dentist made with brute force was enough to make me turn pale in the face and go weak in the knees. the aftermath was not as painful as i imagined, though the numbness in my tongue and lip left me struggling to speak like a stroke patient, for two hours. i waited, and waited anxiously for the local anesthesia to wear off, and for the pain to come back, but when it did, it was not as bad as i imagined. the bigger problem was the excessive salivating and bleeding in my mouth. my campbell soup tasted like iron, but it was better than not being able to eat.

the most unfortunate news is that this is not the end. four minus two leaves me with two more molars on my right, one of which would require a minor surgery.

YES! a minor surgery! the thought of going through this a second time is far too petrifying for me, not to mention that today was merely a walk in the park. imagine the cutting of the gum, followed by the chiseling and drilling of the tooth, then the sewing back of the gum, and lastly the inability to open your mouth for five very bloody days lest the stitch opens - this sounds like a gruelling marathon to me! okay, make that a biathlon, since i presume that i would be swimming in blood for the first couple of days.

in other words, i am scared out of my wits...

God, give me courage to book my next appointment!

today, i did something that i have never done before in my life.

as most Singaporeans would know, our transport system was deemed by the governing bodies as world class. but what they did not talk about was how our social etiquette and grace is so low class, buay pass or whatever you want to call it.

while there has been 1) the recent give-up-your-seat-for-the-needy campaign (with Phua Chu Kang leading with his "sleeping? don't pretend la!" poster) and 2) the earmarking of certain seats as "priority seats" for the CHAP - i.e. the Children, the Handicapped, the Aged and the Pregnant (okay, i came up with this in line with the government's obsession with acronyms), i think these measures have failed miserably.

this morning while i was on the way to work, i saw an elderly man with greying hair and hunching back board the train. he had two huge bags with him - one of which was an ordinary looking document bag, while the other was a ntuc recyclable shopping bag stuffed with newspapers, umbrella and other belongings. having board the train last, he stood near the entrance, in front of the first seat of the row.

when the train started moving, he held on to the railing at the side and took out his newspapers to read. as all of us know, our trains are not always that smooth sailing. there are often small jerks and slight bumps along the way. so this poor man, started to struggle in order to maintain his balance.

so one stop later, i could not bear the brutality of the sight, and i walked over. i glared at the two person sitting in front of the elderly man, and picked the person who looked more well-educated. i asked, "sorry ma'am, would you mind if you could give up your seat for this man". and having heard the request, she promptly stood up and vacated her seat. the elderly man hesitated to sit down, probably feeling embarrassed or undignified. however, i pointed out that he was struggling on the train. after all, i did catch him glancing at the priority seat several times ever since he boarded the train, which i interpretted as his hope that somebody would be gracious enough.

so, eventually, the elderly man claimed his rights to a seat, and i moved away after thanking the kind lady. when i turned away, i heard her pointing out to the man who was sitting at the priority seat, that he should be the one giving up instead. although she said it in an educational manner, rather than a reprimanding tone (and she probably said it because she was trying to defend herself/hide her embarrassment, which i have unrightfully brought upon her), i was surprised that people actually have that kind of mentality.

when the government decided to label certain seats as priority seats, i didn't think it meant that only priority seats can be given up to the needy. neither should our graciousness be limited to where we are sitting or standing. if the lady's misconception is representative of most Singaporeans, then perhaps ALL seats should be labelled as priority seats.

but then again, i think we, as frequent commuters of public transport (as opposed to policy makers who drive their own cars), would know better that the above suggestion would fall through too. because then, everybody would just wait for somebody to do something as nobody wants to be short-changed.

the main problem is that, we just do not have sufficient social grace. i don't know if its the fault of our government, our teachers, our parents or ourselves.

i am guilty of that too. sometimes after a tiring day of work, it is tempting to pretend that i am sleeping rather than to give up my hard-earned seat to somebody who might not appreciate it. in fact, i have had experiences when i was scolded by the person i offered the seat to, because they felt insulted. but that should not and does not deter me from trying.

as i walked away this morning, i felt an irrevocable sense of guilt and shame. and what's worse, was that i did not understand why i felt so guilty and embarrassed about telling somebody off even though i knew that i had done the right thing. was i guilty because i have embarrassed the lady? because i was unsure if i did the right thing? or that i have failed to adhere to the motto of the society - which was to "mind my own business".

these were questions that i could not answer, and frustrations that i could not bear. it made me feel like all the hao gong ming lessons that i used to have in primary school were nothing but fairy tales about an utopian society.

but still, if you are reading this, i hope that you would slowly inch towards being more gracious towards others too. like how giving up of seats should not be limited to priority seats, social grace should not be limited be surrending your seats for the needy, but also to treat people with care, respect and dignity.

here are my top three picks from the graduation ceremony:






taken by my brother, and edited by yours truly. (:

today had been a really long day, running between several places.

witnessed my brother's commencement this afternoon, and although i was bored by most of the speeches (especially those by the vips, because most of them seemed to be giving a guest lecture rather than a graduation or congratulatory oration), i was nonetheless touched by a few that were delivered by their own graduands. they were much more inspiring and engaging, giving the crowd a better grasp of their journey by offering snippets of their college life. as i watched my brother march up the stage to receive his award, i understood what he meant by a huge sense of pride when he attended my commencement earlier this week. while these ceremonies commemorated the end of our education, i am glad to know that both of us have excelled in our own ways, and prouder that he remains the faster runner whom i would always strive to catch up with.

some call it sibling rivalry, but i see it as a healthy kind of competition, that propels me to work harder.

my only regret for the afternoon was having to leave my family abruptly in order to rush for my next appointment, and missing the opportunity to catch up with many of the familiar faces that i spotted among the crowd. many of them were my previous classmates from my secondary school or junior college days, whom i have not seen since we parted for our separate ways.

but i guess when you pit yourself against murphy's law, the latter always win. however, i remember the valedictorian of the day reiterating - "be thankful, that we are rich" - rich not in monetary terms, but rich in our experiences, and rich in our relationships. therefore i reminded myself that i must be thankful for every good thing that has happened today.

the rest of the day was followed by a friend's proposal, whom many of us had the privilege to hide behind the walls and watch the entire process. he went on his knees, and asked for his girlfriend's hand. she hesitated, he persevered, she nodded, he slipped the tiff & co ring on her finger, and finally they held each other tightly as they embrace the beginning of their lives together. we erupted in euphoria, and made our appearance to extend our heartfelt congratulations.

it is not just the marriage of two individuals, but the convergence of two souls, two hearts, and two families. i think it is such a blessing to be able to find a kindred spirit whom you can spend the rest of your life with. and because of that, i think they are really the richest among the rest of us.

hungry and tired, i made my way to my last appointment of the day - a barbeque with some of my closest friends from university. in the two hours, we managed to catch up, reminisce about the past, and even gossip about some of our mutual acquaintances. to sum it up, it was a good time spent with good food and good company. and because of them, i am thankful, for their cooking fills my stomach, their laughter fills my heart, and their friendship fills my life.

so, i have given my thanks for the day, have you?

do weekends come so slowly and go so swiftly? ):

on a lazy saturday, i boarded a random bus and plopped myself on the first seat i saw. my head was feeling heavy so i leaned back and rested my head against a ledge. as i looked out, the clouds were dense and bountiful, their white bodies boldly defined against a light columbia blue. they hung placidly in the sky, as if they were catching a quick siesta while basking in the warmth of the afternoon heat. as the bus moved through an unfamiliar landscape, i was thankful for the air-condition and lightly tinted window, which saved me from the blazing heat and the scorching rays outside. soon, as my mind calmed down, my eyelids began to sink and i fell into a deep slumber.

i live for moments like this.

so i've got a respectable pay, amiable colleagues, a convenient location, a short commuting time, a wise mentor who has streamlined many operations and set the path, and the privilege to travel between centres so i won't have to be stuck at the same office, a pleasant neighbourhood with coffeeshops, supermart and confectionery, a good window view where i can look out whenever my eyes are strained, an energetic director who values staff training and development, and even lunch is provided at the centre so i can always eat in during rainy days.

with so much in my hands, what more can i ask for?

my workplace turned out to be exactly what i imagined it to be.

there seems to be no end to this hell -

with all the cough, sinus, and bleeding. the bubble in my mouth is so stubborn and resilient that it resurrected within 12 hours since the dentist's jab exterminated it.

i'm sorry if my posts revolve only around my tooth extractions,

cos my life had gravitated around it for the past one week . i cancelled most of my non-essential appointments, stayed at home and survived on a measly liquid food diet (most of which were instant/processed food :X ) so basically, i wasted my LAST week of bumhood at home, gallivanting on facebook and youtube to compensate for my lack of a social activities. not to mention that i was struck with a running nose and dry cough, hence the small amount of time outside the house was spent trying to minimise coughing or blowing my nose so that people would not shun me like a plague - reminiscent of the sars period.

i'm pushing my dental appointment forward to tomorrow out of fear that my wound has been infected. i really hope it's just my hypochondria acting out. otherwise, there will be no end to my wisdom tooth woes... and these ramblings.

right now, i am in terrible need of things to keep my mind off the pain in the right side of my mouth. (yes, i did summon the courage in the end - and fought a fever and flu just so that i can keep to my plans.)

the wisdom tooth surgical extraction (my second extraction in five days) is just like what everyone's been saying, extremely excruciating to the bone. but fortunately, its still not the worst pain i've been through (my 2nd degree burns back in my jc days was by far the worst as far as i can remember). but stilllllll, it has to be one of the most frightening procedures i've been through in my sheltered life. imagine having incisions in your gum proceeding the drilling of the tooth - all mentioned briefly by the dentist in a matter-of-fact tone as if it was a delightful recipe to be easily accomplished! also, i am displeased to announce that i have the first stitches ever - three of them! i almost passed out from the sight of them when i shone a touchlight into my stiffen mouth to peek at them.

this is absolutely a nightmare! i need to start getting used to the ache so that i can have a peaceful rest tonight. grrrrrrrrrrr.

after putting it off for four years, i finally decided to remove my four annoying molars.

since young, i was never really afraid of going to the dentist. i don't remember crying when the school dentist extracted my baby teeth, and i have no issues with the usual scaling and cleaning. but today, the fear hit home.

i was lucky that my left molars were not impacted, so a simple extraction did the job. and i chose to do that first to test my threshold of dental pain. even though the extraction was not painful (except for the injection of the local anesthesia which lasted for around two minutes) the procedure was extremely horrifying. the sound of the tooth twisting in my gums, and the eventual pull that the dentist made with brute force was enough to make me turn pale in the face and go weak in the knees. the aftermath was not as painful as i imagined, though the numbness in my tongue and lip left me struggling to speak like a stroke patient, for two hours. i waited, and waited anxiously for the local anesthesia to wear off, and for the pain to come back, but when it did, it was not as bad as i imagined. the bigger problem was the excessive salivating and bleeding in my mouth. my campbell soup tasted like iron, but it was better than not being able to eat.

the most unfortunate news is that this is not the end. four minus two leaves me with two more molars on my right, one of which would require a minor surgery.

YES! a minor surgery! the thought of going through this a second time is far too petrifying for me, not to mention that today was merely a walk in the park. imagine the cutting of the gum, followed by the chiseling and drilling of the tooth, then the sewing back of the gum, and lastly the inability to open your mouth for five very bloody days lest the stitch opens - this sounds like a gruelling marathon to me! okay, make that a biathlon, since i presume that i would be swimming in blood for the first couple of days.

in other words, i am scared out of my wits...

God, give me courage to book my next appointment!